[Grapaphone cyclinder #34, in Arabic]
It is clear that the Rosicrucian orderings of angels are faulty and limited. Their narrow focus on angels and gods from a single western tradition, although clearly and correctly based on the English formulations under John Dee, form an unnatural limit to their power; it is not that they are wrong, but they are insufficient. There are more powers, more angels, and more gods than they know of.
While previously I slavishly followed their simple and nave traditions, I have come to a realization that it is an error ... a sin, even ... to limit myself to that worldview. If a man has been created to be the greatest runner in history, it is wrong for him to allow his coaching to be dominated by a school that does not allow him to reach his potential. In the same way it must be wrong to allow myself to be dominated by the shallow teachings of the Rosicrucians and it must be right to allow myself to follow One who is The Highest Reality -- the greatest of all deities. The Nirvnana-tantra says the gods all arise from Her like bubbles in the sea, ceaslessly arising and passing away, leaving their original source unchanged. The Niruttara-tantra and the Picchila-tantra declare all of Kali's mantras to be the greatest. In the Mahanirvana-tantra, Kali is one of the epithets for the primordial sakti, and in one passage Shiva praises her:
Thou art Kali, the original form of all things, and because Thou art the Origin of and devourest all things Thou art called the Adya. Resuming after Dissolution Thine own form, dark and formless, Thou alone remainest as One ineffable and inconceivable. Though having a form, yet art Thou formless; though Thyself without beginning, Thou art the Beginning of all, Creatrix, Protectress, and Destructress that Thou art.
My Dark Mistress conveys death, destruction, fear, and the consuming aspects of reality. As such, she is also a "forbidden thing", or even death itself. This is clear in the work of the Karpuradi-stotra describing the Panacatattva ritual :
He, O Kali who, naked, and with dishevelled hair, intently meditates upon Thee and recites Thy mantra, and with each recitation makes offering to Thee of a thousand Akanda flowers with seed, becomes without any effort a Lord of the earth. 0 Kali, whoever on Tuesday at midnight, having uttered Thy mantra, makes offering even but once with devotion to Thee of a hair of his female companion, becomes a great poet, a Lord of the earth, and ever goes mounted upon an elephant.
[Grapaphone cyclinder #35, in Arabic]
Although my vow to the order of the Rosy Cross is, in a sense, made subservient or even fulfilled by my vow to My Dark Mistress, it is clear that there is no conflict at all between that vow and my service to the Rippers. All that I have read of Her indicates that She is a terrible, vicious, slayer of demons. In the Karpuradi-stotra she is identified as the supreme mistress of the universe, associated with the five elements. In union with Lord Shiva, who is said to be her spouse (although it is clear to me that he is considerably inferior -- inactive and slothful), she creates and destroys worlds. Her appearance also takes a different turn, befitting her role as ruler of the world and object of meditation. In contrast to her terrible aspects, she takes on hints of a more benign dimension. She is described as young and beautiful, has a gentle smile, and makes gestures with her two right hands to dispel any fear and offer boons. The more positive features exposed offer the distillation of divine wrath into a goddess of salvation, who rids the sadhaka of fear.
It is in this aspect that I have encountered her. She came with offers of gifts and told me of the destruction of the world. She is as beautiful as any woman I have spent time with, and her smile was sweet, mysterious and full of power. In return for a kiss and a promise of service, she has given me gifts of power, clearly beyond what lesser powers can teach. This last week I experienced a moment of great fear -- attacked by a demon and with my own comrades urging my death. I called on Her for help ... and She answered, dispelling my fear and saving me from destruction. I was reluctant initially, but when I realized that I could not even trust members of my own lodge -- people I had saved from death itself, I knew that she was right and have put my trust fully into My Dark Mistress.
She, who destroys even gods to allow their re-creation, who rips demons apart and who has power beyond what other persons can teach, is not a distant and remote being. She is beautiful and strong and powerful and pure in her desires. I now that following her may result in my death, but destruction is not evil of itself -- as a Ripper, I am duty-bound to do ... what? To build things? To preserve? To produce beauty? No. My avowed profession is the destruction of evil. What more fitting Mistress might I have than one who personifies destruction? Who could be more perfect?
And if in the process it is not just obvious evil that is destroyed, then I accept that. Who is not evil to some extent? What institution is fully perfect? What woman of high society has not the touch of a whore in her heart? What friend might not betray their comrade out of fear? My Dark Mistress might destroy us all, but if so, it will be for good reasons, and we shall be reborn in the circle of light again, and may I serve Her again and again, as I may already have served her for thousands of years!
[Grapaphone cyclinder #36, in Mandarin]
I have recently acquired a small statue of My Dark Mistress for the upper room in my house. I will place Her hand in front of it and the head of John the Baptists in the chest on which it stands. In the statue, she has a fierce but smiling face. Her red tongue, protruding from her gaping mouth is a sign of her thirst for blood. Her untamed hair hints at unrestrained power and boundless freedom. Her three eyes represent omniscience, for she sees past, present and future. The garland of severed heads around her neck form a Tantric metaphor for creative power. Encircling her waist, a girdle of severed arms indicates that she severs the bonds of karma and frees us from the bondage of accumulated deeds. Her full breasts symbolize nurturance. Her nakedness signifies freedom from the veils of illusion, and her dark skin alludes to the infinitude of the blue-black night sky. Her lower right hand is held in the varada mudra, extended to offer a boon. One of her greatest boons is fearlessness, indicated by her upper right hand, held in the abhaya mudra, upright with the palm outward. Her upper left hand brandishes a bloodied curving sword, and her lower left hand dangles a freshly severed head. Behind these apparent symbols of destruction lies a different story. The sword symbolizes the higher knowledge that cuts through appearances and reveals things as they really are. The severed head represents the human ego, the limiting sense of I-me-and-mine that she slays. Together Kali's four hands seem to say, "Take refuge in me, let go of your existential fear, let me slay your illusion of smallness and separation, and you will merge into my infinite bliss."
[Grapaphone cyclinder #36, in English]
I have found a translation of Ramprasad's poems. Here is one that is my favorite, which I reproduce correcting an obvious translation error. I recite it while taking the fruit of the coca ...
I drink no ordinary wine,
but Wine of Everlasting Bliss,
As I repeat my Mistress Kali's name;
It so intoxicates my mind that people take me to be drunk!
First my guru gives molasses for the making of the Wine;
My longing is the ferment to transform it.
Knowledge, the maker of the Wine,
prepares it for me then;
And when it is done,
my mind imbibes it from the bottle of the mantra,
Taking the Mistress's name to make it pure.
Drink of this Wine, says Ramprasad,
and the four fruits of life are yours.